The Case For Joy.
Most of us are familiar with the expression ‘laughter is the best medicine’. We might even know a few ‘cheerful characters’ within our circle, who seem to possess consistently robust good health. We might even have done some reading in the field of ‘mind /body connection’ which confirms these everyday observations. Most of us however have not had occasion to consciously experience the full extent and depth of this connection, as this awareness often only occurs as a result of some life changing or ‘catastrophic’ event which we would quite sensibly wish to avoid. If there is no such event, and we are a ‘negative’ person then we usually continue in our ‘low grade, every day, misery, or, if we are a ‘positive person’, we then take our happiness for granted, never questioning its origins or effects. I fell into the former category.
It was having cancer that gave me the gift of awareness of the connection between conscious joy and physical health, and I’d like to share my experience with you here. For it was in April 2015, only just before being hospitalized for an operation to remove a 5cm malignant tumor from my skull, that I start to feel an intense joy just to be alive. I am divorced with a son who was then 11years old. I wanted desperately to stay alive and well for him. Who would look after him if my health failed. His alcoholic indifferent father didn’t seem like and option to me.
At the same time, my surgeon had told me that the operation was risky. He had to cut a hole in my skull above the nasal cavity to remove the tumor, I therefore had to sign a document before the operation accepting the risk of contracting bacterial meningitis and possibly going blind in my left eye. Assuming that the operation was successful, I was told that this type of cancer had a pretty dismal prognosis with a high chance (60%) of reoccurrence and metastasis to the lungs. So all in all, I had a very strong motivation to explore the connection between joy and healing. And I found, to my intense relief, that it works.
After I had overcome the initial shock of the diagnosis, and from what I had gleaned from the prior diagnostic examination process, I realized that I was going to have to protect myself from the mechanistic and compartmentalized view of the patient that the medical practitioners held. Not that they were not sympathetic and caring in their handling of me, they were, but their view of the patient was essentially one of a passive organism that had been invaded by an outside force, that had to be removed or destroyed. And being ‘processed through’ the hospital system could leave a person feeling exactly like that, a passive victim, unable to positively influence the outcome of the treatment.
For this reason, while I was undergoing treatment there I started a ‘campaign of Joy’. I read Deepak Chopra’s ‘Quantum Healing’ and listened to Louise Hay’s pod casts on positive affirmations for health. I had read widely from various spiritual authors and had become familiar with Louise Hays theory of self healing through emotional empowerment. I took no part in everyday hospital life – even though I was there for 2 weeks – This was deliberate, as even the most well meaning of nurses and doctors have the capacity to inject fear and negativity into any kind of treatment interaction. I was constantly shut off with my ipad and headphones listening to positive healing seminars - both before and after the operation.
Afterwards I made a fast and complete recovery and I am sure that this was partly due to the fact that I had determined to find joy in my life. I realized from this experience that my declining health had been brought about by my joyless existence in previous years. Even though there was no apparent reason for why my life should necessarily have been joyless – it nevertheless it had become so. I came to realize that this had less to do with my circumstances and more to do with my perception and my handing of those circumstances.
Was there any reason why I should have been feeling so consistently worried, troubled, anxious and stressed about my like, for years prior to my hospitalization. Of course there were always objective circumstances in my life, to which I could justifiably react with stress and fear, but did I necessarily have to react like this? I would argue not. I could have responded to life events with some positivity and rather than viewing the changing circumstances of my life with fear – I could have viewed them as opportunities to experience new things and to create new solutions to problems. I could have chosen to feel powerful and creative rather than dejected and fearful.
You may of course protest that this is not a choice – we don’t chose to feel something or not –that even if we are aware of the alternative feeling we can’t chose to feel it. We are passive victims of our feelings. I, on the other hand, have experienced that this is not true. If an alternative occurs to us then we can chose it. Faced with cancer, and a possibly fatal operation to remove it, and having overcome the initial fear and dread, I chose to feel positive joy that the surgeon who was going to perform it would give me another stab at life. That I was lucky to have found him, as he was one of a very few who could perform this very difficult operation without performing a craniotomy, and that he was a kind and considerate man who had inspired me with confidence before the operation. I had reasons to be grateful, and I ‘used’ these to generate an unerring sense of positivity which kept me going through the whole experience of hospitalisation, tests, follow up and radiation therapy. The reason I was able to do this is because I was aware that I could feel joy no matter what.